So, recently I played a festival with my band. It was an incredible show and a really amazing weekend!
During the festival I had the chance to see Frank Carter perform and he said something that shouldn’t need to be said but sadly even though we’re in 2017 still is.
He stopped his show to say something very important at a buzzing main stage, Women ONLY Crowdsurfing for an entire song. That all the women who chose to crowdsurf are safe and no small minded cretin is going to make them feel uncomfortable and allow them to enjoy themselves without any fear of assault. He wants his little baby girl to grow up in a world where it’s safe for women to crowdsurf.
This all sounds a little daft (why is he fussing over some girls crowdsurfing) but is a lot more important than it seems. It’s not the basic principal of crowdsurfing it’s the completely obvious principal that we want to feel safe.
There wouldn’t be companies such as Safe Gigs for Women if we didn’t need them. Now is the time for things to be made clear. Assault and abuse have never been acceptable and I feel like the feminist movement has gained enough traction now to make a stand.
Improvements have been made, it’s clear, but I am about to contradict it all.
Brace yourselves for some blood boiling.
We played a set of our own later that same day. It was a wonderful set we all played well and the audience were fabulous.
Mid way through the set a gentleman (I say that as loosely as possible) sat front and centre. He was wearing an Iron Maiden top, it was very clear he had little to no idea what that t-shirt was, I can only assume he bought it as this whole band t-shirt thing is circling back round in the fashion world. I complemented him on his t-shirt, innocently. That was my first downfall. He was engaged now.
Then throughout the next song he proceeded to shuffle his crotch toward the stage, protesting to his friend ‘I want her, tell her I want her’. If in jest, I would smirk at this and think nothing of it, but this was not in jest. It was offensive and made to ridicule and objectify me. Make me seem lower than he was because all women are hypnotised by mens crotches aren’t they…
This action did not stop, he only moved closer and protested louder. I felt unbelievably uncomfortable. AT MY OWN SHOW. This is my anger, I was paralysed and left mute by how offended and shocked I was that this was happening whilst I was performing. If he was doing this to me, whilst a stage and some monitors was between us, what we he doing to others whilst pushed up against them at a packed main stage?!
Not that it should make a blind bit of difference but I was wearing 2 tops, an over shirt, jeans and my socks pulled all the way up. I wasn’t exactly at my most attractive. He felt he had the power to make me feel 2 inches tall. By assuming his crotch shuffles would seduce me.
This should not be allowed. My only retaliation to his ‘come here, I want you’ was to make a joke and say ‘oh. slightly inappropriate’. Which, in hindsight, was not what I should of done. But I panicked. I felt uneasy.
My point is… NOBODY should feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Female, Male, Non Binary, whoever you are. Music is what unifies us. It binds us together in a world wide community. This small minded cretin ruined the show for me, and as a result of that I couldn’t find the confidence to speak to people afterwards. Which is NEVER something I’d do normally.
I regret not saying something, I regret not speaking out, I regret not doing what Frank Carter did. I had the same platform in which to do it and it was happening right there in front of me.
I apologise to everybody who tried to speak to me afterwards, I was distracted and frightened.
Lets, please, bring our children up to be better than that. To treat EVERYBODY they meet with respect.